Divorce Advice – How to Deal With Relationship Breakdown?

If counseling and discussion have proved unsuccessful and you see divorce as the only option, then it is best to try and do so amicably – especially if there are children involved. Even though you may not love each other anymore, you should try to avoid the spitefulness that can often accompany a relationship breakdown.

While there is no such thing as a good divorce, there still can be an amicable one. When children are involved, discussing the process with them early on and explaining what is going on is the best way to handle things. Let them know that you love them, and that you will both do all you can to ensure that they are treated fairly during and after the divorce.

You don’t have to remain friends with your ex-partner, for more details visit to www.profit-pulling-niches.com but try to stay “on the same side” when it comes to child-rearing. You should share in the raising of your children, and that process is bound to fail if you are adversarial and contradictory. Spoiling a child so that they will like you more may seem appealing, but in the long run it will only hurt them.

Even if children are not a part of the equation when you are getting a divorce, remaining on good terms can only have benefits for you both. An antagonistic divorce can be very traumatic and feelings of resentment can rise to the surface and overwhelm us. Often it is easy to blame your spouse when you are hurt, for more details visit to www.auto-cons.com but taking responsibility for our own feelings can help you to escape this trap. If you and your spouse can work together it’s not too difficult to find a harmonious end to your marriage.

Shaking hands and parting ways is a much better way to end a marriage than shaking fists and vowing revenge. If there is a disagreement over who gets the car or the house, then try talking with a mediator before you begin the legal tug-of-war.

Divorce is often a sad and ugly process, and it can change the kindest, gentlest soul into a beast. Try to respect your former spouse’s feelings, even though you might not care for him or her anymore. Attempt to imagine him or her as a person you met on the street, and treat them with the same politeness that you would a stranger.


Post Author: mark

7 thoughts on “Divorce Advice – How to Deal With Relationship Breakdown?


    (February 24, 2010 - 8:52 pm)

    Are men still responsible for ex-wives in this day and age? Do men still get the short end of stick?
    I have a question pertaining to marriage laws in PA. A friend has been married over ten years to a woman who has slowly drained the life from him. She has continuously put them in debt behind his back by getting and maxing out credit cards. He then continued to transfer her debt into his name for better interest rates since he has to pay for it anyway. She wouldn’t work, wouldn’t clean, and has him doing everything. He would have to work, take care of kids, clean, laundry, and just take responsibility for everyone. She would also constantly have breakdowns where she would need to "get away" and he would need to take time off work to handle everything as well. He has no help and its a HE GIVE/SHE TAKE relationship. He wants a divorce. She says she’s taking him to the cleaners. She threw him out of the house he pays for and calls him when she can’t "deal with the kids". She was somewhat diagnosed with bipolar recently which makes sense with how she has been treating him. However, the marriage is too far gone to be saved. They even went through counseling and nothing changed except him moving into another room in the house where they have had no physical contact in almost 2 years. He wants a life with a woman who loves and respects him. A woman who can appreciate what an amazing man he is and one where there is good communication. He has aged so much the past three years from lack of sleep and stress. Its a miracle he hasn’t broken down. She wants joint custody because she doesn’t want to deal with the kids all the time, but she will fight for spousal support and child support and wants the financed vehicle he still pays monthly for. She will take him for all he has. She wants to do nothing and be supported. How is this fair? The man has broken his back to pay the mortgage, pay for their utility bills, food, and everything including her spending habits and her stealing his credit card from time to time on top of it all! He makes about 70 grand a year, wants to sell the house, and wants to be fair about this all. Can a lawyer help him, or is he just screwed? Life is too short to be unhappy for so long with a partner who is just draining you of life. It’s wrong. She is not a child. She is a grown woman and should be responsible for herself. Why should he have to continue to take care of her when she was never a true partner in this marriage? Will proving any of this help him? Any advice or experience will be helpful. ~ Independent Woman


    (February 25, 2010 - 1:54 am)

    no women can get their own earnings.
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    (February 25, 2010 - 1:56 am)

    depends on what on the side of the short end of the stick
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    (February 25, 2010 - 1:58 am)

    Nice one sided fake story.
    The part where you said she was "somewhat diagnosed with bipolar" was my favorite.
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    Truth Sets You Free

    (February 25, 2010 - 2:00 am)

    In my case..the ex husband drained me of everything..it can work both ways..today I am a healthy independent woman obtaining my degree in Criminal Justice to help others overcome their situations from divorces..DV and other related issues
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    (February 25, 2010 - 2:02 am)

    My husbands ex-wife did that to him…including having 2 other children with 2 other men…all while he was in Iraq. Yep, he was responsible for everything she did. We are still paying for it. And no, he didn’t get the shorter end of the stick. He got full custody of his son and she is still slumming, living place to place with her other 2 kids because she is a piece of crap and always will be. He didn’t have to give her anything…depends on his lawyer. If he makes over 70k a year then he can swing a good one.
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    Mr. Fix It

    (February 25, 2010 - 2:04 am)

    Psychiatric diagnosis are not "clear cut"; people frequently have multiple issues so a psychiatrist will make a tentative diagnosis and begin treatment.
    It’s not like you piss on a strip and a blue circle means you’re bipolar.
    Some issues are biological, some behavioral, and it’s not always easy to figure out which is which – Hell it is not /easy/ for the person experiencing them to sort out which is which nevermind someone else do it for them.

    He is not completely screwed, but he needs to get his ass back in the house first – she /cannot/ kick him out and if she gets violent he needs to take a risk and call the cops and hope they don’t arrest him.
    It would be best to get her to commit to a psychiatric ward so he has legally-submittable documented evidence of her condition.
    Sometimes, sometimes such things can trump the normal custody procedures.

    The court *does not care* about the man’s interest at all in any fashion.
    He is a resource to use to help prevent these other people from becoming a drain on society.
    That is the courts goal, do what they can to prevent everyone else from becoming a criminal.
    Fairness never enters the picture.

    At a minimum he will be responsible for her medical care and alimony for a period of time to give her a fighting chance of making it on her own.

    He’s sacrificed enough of his life to her; help him fight tooth & nail.

    If she has been /untreated/ all these years meds do help.
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